Marriage is not a bed of roses all the time. It’s a lot of work to make it successful. Successful marriage is not passive. You have to keep it alive. You have to keep it glowing. You have to keep it going. It takes a lot to make a great marriage. There are some keywords that i would like to point out in making the marriage work (not necessarily in order):
- love – i know there are lots of marriages made not out of love, but out of match-made by both parents. sometimes, it’s hard to define love when you’re in a relationship and everything goes right. the moment challenges come in, this is when you can finally test whether love is for real. for love is not just a feeling. it must be a will. a love that remains for better or worse, for better or poorer, etc.
- respect – respect for yourself and respect for your spouse is very important. you have to respect each others differences. never criticize your spouse in public. I know a couple who have a very different personalities. The wife always scold the husband, even in front of other people. You know what, this husband stayed on not because of her, but because of his children. He told me one day that the moment they got married, his love for his wife was gone because she has such a bad attitude, disrespecting him, calling him stupid in front of other people. I can only extend my sympathy for this guy.
- forgiveness – i admit, it’s hard for me to forgive easily. It takes time for me to really release forgiveness. But God has been teaching me about this. I must learn to forgive easily for He Himself doesn’t have a hard time forgiving me when I do wrong.
- communication – is the key to a great marriage. You have to talk. Sort out your differences. Resolve your problem. Never let it hang in the air. Let your spouse know how you feel and why you feel that way. I have a problem with an open communication before because we’re not encouraged to do that in my family. But when I went overseas and joined a certain team, I started learning how to open up… which is good for our relationship.
- trust – comes next when you have an open communication with your spouse. No trust, no love.
These are just my thoughts. I hope I am making sense and I hope you will find these tips helpful in keeping your marriage in bay.
by: janet